[complete transcription so that you do not need to visit X]

A crazy experience — I lost my earbuds in a remote town in Chile, so tried buying a new pair at the airport before flying out. But the new wired, iPhone, lightning-cable headphones didn’t work. Strange.

So I went back and swapped them for another pair, from a different brand. But those headphones didn’t work either. We tried a third brand, which also didn’t work.

By now the gift shop people and their manager and all the people in line behind me are super annoyed, until one of the girls says in Spanish, “You need to have bluetooth on.” Oh yes, everyone else nods in agreement. Wired headphones for iPhones definitely need bluetooth.

What? That makes no sense. The entire point of wired headphones is to not need bluetooth.

So I turn Bluetooth on with the headphones plugged into the lightning port and sure enough my phone offers to “pair” my wired headphones. “See,” they all say in Spanish, like I must be the dumbest person in the world.

With a little back and forth I realize that they don’t even conceptually know what bluetooth is, while I have actually programmed for the bluetooth stack before. I was submitting low-level bugs to Ericsson back in the early 2000’s! Yet somehow, I with my computer science degree, am wrong, and they, having no idea what bluetooth even is, are right.

My mind is boggled, I’m outnumbered, and my plane is boarding. I don’t want wireless headphones. And especially not wired/wireless headphones or whatever the hell these things are. So I convince them, with my last ounce of sanity, to let me try one last thing, a full-proof solution:

I buy a normal wired, old-school pair of mini-stereo headphones and a lightning adapter. We plug it all in. It doesn’t work.

“Bluetooth on”, they tell me.

NO! By all that is sacred my wired lightning adapter cannot require Bluetooth. “It does,” they assure me.

So I turn my Bluetooth on and sure enough my phone offers to pair my new wired, lightning adapter with my phone.

Unbelievable.

I return it all, run to catch my plane, and spend half the flight wondering what planet I’m on. Until finally back home, I do some research and figure out what’s going on:

A scourge of cheap “lightning” headphones and lightning accessories is flooding certain markets, unleashed by unscrupulous Chinese manufacturers who have discovered an unholy recipe:

True Apple lightning devices are more expensive to make. So instead of conforming to the Apple standard, these companies have made headphones that receive audio via bluetooth — avoiding the Apple specification — while powering the bluetooth chip via a wired cable, thereby avoiding any need for a battery.

They have even made lightning adapters using the same recipe: plug-in power a fake lightning dongle that uses bluetooth to transmit the audio signal literally 1.5 inches from the phone to the other end of the adapter.

In these remote markets, these manufacturers have no qualms with slapping a Lightning / iPhone logo on the box while never mentioning bluetooth, knowing that Apple will never do anything.

From a moral or even engineering perspective, this strikes me as a kind of evil. These companies have made the cheapest iPhone earbuds known to humankind, while still charging $12 or $15 per set, pocketing the profits, while preying on the technical ignorance of people in remote towns.

Perhaps worst of all, there are now thousands or even millions of people in the world who simply believe that wired iPhone headphones use bluetooth (whatever that is), leaving them with an utterly incoherent understanding of the technologies involved.

I wish @Apple would devote an employee or two to cracking down on such a technological, psychological abomination as this. And I wish humanity would use its engineering prowess for good, and not opportunistic deception.

  • drspod@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    64
    ·
    5 months ago

    I lost my earbuds in a remote town in Chile, so tried buying a new pair at the airport before flying out.

    True Apple lightning devices are more expensive to make.

    I wish @Apple would devote an employee or two to cracking down on such a technological, psychological abomination as this.

    He wants to take away a budget option from developing countries where people can’t afford the expensive version of the proprietary technology, and he wants Apple to be the one to do it?

    Fuck this guy.

    • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      51
      ·
      5 months ago

      Idk…seems like the average apple user to me.

      Trillion dollar company Apple is right and can do no wrong.

      It’s all those other people who need to do better.

      • sqgl@beehaw.orgOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        edit-2
        5 months ago

        I suspect the ranting author failed to appreciate that Bluetooth is probably cheaper to implement for the audio because regular headphones require three wires while power supply only requires two. Ingenious really.

        EDIT: Proper wired headphones would also require a soundcard in the dongle.

        • JohnEdwa@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          16
          ·
          edit-2
          5 months ago

          There is a soundcard in the bluetooth headphones and wires are dirt cheap, it’s not about that. Proper lightning headphones require getting your product certified by apple ($$$) and a special apple chip added in ($$$) because iPhones refuse to connect to devices that aren’t.
          But they will connect to all bluetooth devices.

    • invertedspear@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      5 months ago

      Does he want to take a budget option away? At one point he says “And they still charge $12” to me that says that’s close to what proper wired earbuds should cost. People are getting screwed buying something that should have higher sound quality and getting the cheapest Bluetooth quality instead.

        • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          5 months ago

          Not only an airport, but elsewhere would likely not have been able to negotiate to same prices as a local. Sticker price is almost always the foreigner price, at least when it’s matching or higher than the price one would pay back home.

          I’m almost certain I’ve seen $5 “lightning” headphones here in the midwestern US.

        • invertedspear@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          5 months ago

          Sure, but I have no idea what prices to expect in Chile, airport or otherwise. Just trying to extract some info by the author’s choice of wording.

    • BCsven@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      5 months ago

      Nah, it should be like the audio jack, you plug in the headphomes with no proprietary bullshit…Apple is locking poor people out of this easy method by being dicks about lightning connec tors. Im glad EU forces them to USB-c but Apple will probably lock devices out on this also

        • BCsven@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          5 months ago

          Also I mention apple locks poor people out of headphones and you reply IPhone 15 is out. You realize many people can not afford a brand new iphone just because it came out?

          • fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            5 months ago

            Every iPhone has been expensive on release. As time goes on more and more people get newer and newer phones. And what was new and expensive becomes cheap and available.

            • BCsven@lemmy.ca
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              5 months ago

              Not so much in places like Brazil, Africa, India etc. you can get a cheap Android phone for $25 but iPhone is still a premium luxury. The new phone every two years is a privalege thing.

        • BCsven@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          5 months ago

          Yet… have you tried a non apple USB headset to see if it works? Just becauae you have USB doesn’t neccessaeily mean kernel allows all devices. But even if it works to placate EU now have you noticed that all giant companies start out with something that is OK, then later alter the deal, once you are trapped.

    • sqgl@beehaw.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      The guy was having a funny geeky bitch. He was laughing at himself. He doesn’t expect Apple to change anything.

      EDIT: I think you are right, that last paragraph of his is weirdly serious. Would have been pure comedy without it.