What’s that in freedom units?

“What was Windows even doing for us?”

Providing minimal malware protection while being actual malware?

Check it out, I’m a masshole! *toot*

I’m gonna pass on some knowledge that my mechanic gave me years ago when I started getting into self-repair and kept asking him if things needed to be repaired or replaced:

“Does it say in your user manual that you need to do anything with it or is it currently causing issues? No? Then leave it alone. If you start trying to find issues with things that are working well, you’re just gonna end up paying for repairs on a thing that’ll never work the same again.”

Debuckle is what my dad did before I got the belt

Whoever says parents aren’t hitting their kids enough either weren’t abused much as a child or were abused far too much. I was abused just enough to avoid ever having kids.

Games aren’t about fun! I don’t appreciate your whimsical attitude, it scares the serious adult in me!

Not Excel, but one of the most hilarious uses of Google Sheets I’ve ever seen

And then burn down your attorney’s office. Fuck it, just become an arsonist

Burn the place down

George H.W.'s greatest foe

Damnit, that’s a WAY better title! I knew there were some quality opportunities

Well done

The Legend of Flipper Vance

Episode IV: Avoiding Seductive Couches

No, it’s still the desktop version. Have you noticed how ugly Windows 11 got recently? It’s because of these optimizations.

Menus have become more touch-friendly and window controls become comparatively more robust as your screen size decreases. I’m surprised how much more frequently I interact with my touch screen than my keyboard and mouse sometimes.

I bought my Legion Go for portable photo and video editing and get a free Adobe license through my work, which is why I went with Windows. I’ve heard that you can install Creative Cloud on Linux, but I’ve been told by our technologists that the Enterprise login might not work when it detects the operating system.

At this point, most of my reasons for sticking with Windows boil down to laziness. If I really felt like taking the time to test Adobe, my eGPU, StarCitizen, and the various Legion Go hardware features, I could probably deliver more informed explanations. But alas… I’m too lazy right now and spend my non-lazy time working on other projects.

They optimized Windows for touch/portable devices last year. The need for a handheld OS is no longer an issue for Microsoft’s most popular virus.

How do I know? I’m not just (an) owner of a Windows-running handheld, I’m a victim!

I run Linux on my server and Windows on my Legion Go. If it were easier to tackle switching from an AMD iGPU to an AMD eGPU on Linux, I’d probably abandon Windows completely.

Oh my god! They’re paying themselves!!!

Marty! It’s your children! The little bastards won’t stop playing Ska-booby toilets!

Consider that the energy output of a 12-gauge shotgun is approximately 4500 Newton-meters and, from personal experience, can rotate a first-gen iPad at an extrapolated 240 rpm (extrapolated as this proved difficult to sustain). That gives us an equivalent of 113 kW! A modern ipad would only need about 13 kW to charge in one second.

So, one shotgun shell could easily charge yours and 7 of your friends ipads instantaneously, although the results are difficult to appreciate.

The way that people use and trust these chat bots reminds me of stories about executives in the '80s climbing the corporate ladder using a Magic 8 Ball

That’s the moment where the fighters and the crowd attack and eat the announcer

“Ugh, now they’re both crying…” Covers microphone “Someone hit somebody! God, in my 13 years of UFC announcing, I’ve never been more embarrassed…”