Did Lammy whack his head on something on July 4?

Fuck Wes Streeting. So many things he could be doing to save the NHS and he’s spending time indulging his ridiculous phobias at the expense of vulnerable people. What a horrid little piece of work.

Not entirely: they provide the lowest common denominator with cheap entertainment. But, you know, the same can be said for the whole show.

When the expert judge speaks, the one who is actually going to give constructive criticism to help you get better at dancing, everyone needs to yell “BOO FUCK OFF” at him like he’s a pantomime Gargamel. Only non-critical criticisms are allowed.

I too value my time with your mum.

Starmer is a well-documented Zionist. There’s no way old Huckleberry Graham would need to follow up on a threat like that.

Hi I’ve just teleported here from a neighboring timeline. How is it going, Earth-420chungus69?

…

Jesus Christ.

Jokes on Trump. We like fucking up our economy.

I think I must have hit reply on the wrong comment. I’m sorry it seems to have upset you so much.

Elon to send poo emoji.

The trick is to fit exercise into a routine. Work + sleep + family + study can add up to all of the available hours. Subsidised gym won’t help with that.

Eating well: that also takes time. And planning. This is where we should be focusing our attention if we want to improve our country’s health. Not weight loss jabs and not subsidising gyms.

Responding to the announcement, Musk posted on X that the Guardian was “irrelevant” and a “laboriously vile propaganda machine”.

The Guardian is rubber, and Musk is glue.

If there’s not enough breastmilk we’d be extinct.

And then he didn’t.

Have you forgotten that we’re in the Stupidest Timeline? You’ve forgotten haven’t you?

I remember thinking the same about Johnson once.

Another cartoon villain. Might be loony enough to pull back some Reform voters, but she won’t be winning any votes back in the center. She seems to be opposing David Tennant rather than Kier Starmer, but neither is a fight she can win in the court of popular opinion.

The SI unit of progress is the Funeral.

I think we’re waiting for a bunch of very stupid and very stubborn people to … what do they say? … “age out” of the voting pool.

There is a universe in which the Tories make rejoining a “sensible economic management” election pledge in ten years or so, in order to reinvent themselves as something electable in a post-boomer world. All we have to do is jump tracks out of the Stupidest Timeline. Everyone push the wall to your left, one two three NOW.

Nah, they don’t want our troublesome right wing racist selfish arses back in their club.