You jest, but we use Launch Darkly at work, and it’s the shit. Way better than our previous home grown solution. Everyone made the same joke at first, but the value is real

I use an Apple TV 4K. For self hosted streaming, I am running Plex on a Raspberry Pi, connected to a Synology NAS, which has my media library

Check out iOS Assistive Access. It greatly enlarges and simplifies the UI to cater to cognitive impairments

Agreed. 100% would not recommend going this route for a homelab, but it does meet every specified requirement

Used HP ProLiant. It’s nearly 10 years old, but has 16 cores 64GB of RAM, and is just under $150 with free shipping

https://www.ebay.com/itm/235286275608